Not too much going on at the home front. We're STILL waiting for a closing date. Can you believe it?! I now have utilities for two homes in my name, plus, upon calling my insurance company today, I found out they had cancelled the plan on my current home (that I'm still residing in!) and moved our plan to the new house. Yikes! After several phone calls, I think I have all of that straightened out, but still no news on whether or not we're moving Thursday. It would so help if someone could just give me an idea. This week, next week, early January, next December?! I mean, come on.
To keep my mind off of the constant stress that is wreaking havoc on my family, I've been surfin' the web.
Today I've discovered a new message board on TheBump for photography. Score! I've been "lurking" and posting there most of the morning in between lunch and reruns of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse...oh, and amidst dealing with Hannah's constant meltdowns today. I think if I weren't pregnant, I'd be banging my head on the nearest wall until I passed out. It'd give me a few minutes of peace and quiet! Just kidding. I'm not that self-destructive!
Right now, we're watching a Mickey, then it's nap time. While Hannah's napping, I think I'm going to either catch up on my baby afghan that is still nowhere near being finished, or start studying the 12 week tutorial that everyone on the photography message board is doing. I actually found the tutorial months ago and made it through the first two weeks. I'm hoping that if I "check-in" on the board, I'll feel somewhat accountable to someone and finish the entire 12-week assignment.
I feel like I'm running out of time in every area of my life. Everything has been put on hold here in preparation for the move. I am increasingly agitated that we still have no more information than we did six weeks ago. Everything is on hold here (my sewing projects, photography, cooking, baking, even cleaning, yet time continues to march on and I'm losing days that I could be spending being productive.
If this is not the hardest time in my life to be trying to move, I don't know what would be. I have such a desire to ready the house for the baby, and I can't even do that right now. What makes it worse is that we are completely at the mercy of everyone else involved. The government, our lender, the underwriters, etc. That in itself is too much for me to deal with. I've said it several times over the last few weeks and I still mean it: I will not be moving out of this next house for a very, VERY long time.
To continue on with my ramblings, I'm 38 weeks pregnant today! Only two more weeks until my actual due date...I'm planning to not make it that far. My guess would be that she'll arrive sometime later in the week. I'm going by Hannah being a week early. I know that means nothing this time around, but it gives me some hope that the end is near!
With Hannah, I couldn't wait for her to be born! I was so over being pregnant. I was swollen, uncomfortable, cranky...did I mention I was swollen? I never knew then that I'd miss being pregnant, and much sooner than when most women probably start.
These last few days I've been cherishing every hiccup, movement. I want to remember everything. I'm living in the moment with this big, round belly. Although I can't wait to meet her, I want to savor her time with just me, even if it's just a few more days.
The anticipation of her birth is the only thing that's keeping me sane in this whole moving process. I have something so awesome to look forward to...it keeps me going.
And I'm finally coming to terms with not having a Christmas tree this year. It's been really bothering me the last few weeks. The truth of the matter is, we don't know which house we'll be in for Christmas, or how many days before Christmas we'll know. What's the purpose of putting a tree up here and then having the possibility of getting a phone call tomorrow telling us we're cleared to close this week? As far as putting one up in the new house, again, what's the point?
Depending on when we move, we may be within a day or two of Christmas. More than likely I'll be in the hospital or just a day or two out. I'm definitely not going to feel like decorating a tree. I wouldn't put that on Micah, either. With the long hours he works, plus the added stress of getting the house in order without my help, and having probably sole responsibility for Hannah's care when he's home...I just can't do it.
We're in for a lot of change here. I'm just not sure when it's all going to come about.
For right now, I'm curled up on the couch (as best I can with this belly) with a blanket. I have plans to study photography, but whether or not that actually becomes reality is anyone's guess. I'm flyin' by the seat of my pants today.
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