For Me.

I have been so frustrated with myself lately. Not personally, but when it comes to photography, yes. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love photography...freezing precious moments in time into lasting memories. It sounds cheesy, but honestly, that's what I live for. Over the last two years, I have taken somewhere near 10,000 pictures. Even though the early pictures are awful (okay, and probably some of the more recent ones, too), they captured a fleeting moment of time...told our story...showed who we were right at that given moment.

The one thing I have learned in this journey, and I'll admit, I've learned it the hard way and it's taken numerous trials for me to finally "get it", is that you have to be yourself. You have to shoot for you. There are many photographers that I truly admire. I could sit for hours (and have!) gazing at their work. They take pictures that draw you in...one photograph that you feel tells the story of an entire day. That being said, I'm not them and I will never be able to copy their work, their editing style, their way of storytelling.

Each one of us see things differently. Two of us could look on the exact same scene and capture two entirely different images. I may like the work that other photographers produce, but I'll never be happy trying to be just like them.

If you scroll back through my blog, you'll see the various phases I've been in. Vintage-y edits, bold edits, horrible edits, etc. None of it was me, and the more I tried to be like someone else, the more frustrated I became. Sometimes it was so bad that I'd completey give up and not want to even pick up my camera. That's not what this passion is supposed to do. It's supposed to be an escape...something I enjoy. It's art, and I'm supposed to expressing me through my art.

So why am I saying all of this? I've recorded basically everything during this photographic journey. I want to look back and read this and remember why it's so important to shoot for me. I'm sure that I'll soon forget and try to be something I'm not. It's happened more than once before, and I know it's so easy to allow it to happen again. I can honestly say, though, that I have a style that speaks to me. Something that feels me. I feel relaxed and calm when I edit that way. There's no pressure to do something different, because it's what feels right, if that makes sense.

While I admire the work of others, I'll never be them, and trying to replicate something that is so uniquely them is only going to leave me frustrated, and that's not what I want this passion of mine to become...a frustration.

I'll leave it at that and share some picures that I've taken recently that just feel...me.

;)

It was so nice out, like high 60's, low 70's a few weeks ago, so we took the kids outside to play for the evening. I decided to buy some glitter to test out for pictures. I should have used a different color because it's hard to see, but I was so pleased that Hannah cooperated!

This is my abstract self portrait. lol

Then the girls "helped" Daddy rake leaves.

Noah hangs out in the Moby when we're outside. Notice the tube of purple glitter stuck in the side of it. ;)

I am surprised we still have few pesky dandelions in the yard, but the girls love them, so...

Then it started to get dark and I had to push my camera to it's max. These are really grainy, but whatevs.

All of the kids love Pap, but Sarah simply adores him. :)

I can't even remember if I posted, but I did two "day in the life" days where I had my camera with me for a good part of the day to try to capture our norm. I need to do a "Real" one where I document mealtime and everything, but it's hard to hold a huge camera and lens in one hand while comforting or nursing a baby in the other. ;) Soon, hopefully!