Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Trying to stay positive...

Today has not been an easy day. Our four year old Springer/Lab mix, Patrick is sick. This is nothing new. He's had these health problems for a long time, but it's only been in the last year that they have escalated. Patrick has a congenital kidney disease. He is unable to digest proteins. Because of the disease, he requires a special, VERY expensive diet. This diet provides him with all of the necessary nutrition that he needs, but has 1/2 of the normal protein levels in regular dog food. Patrick's symptoms include vomiting (up to three times a day), lethargy, and flank pain. My biggest issue was the vomiting. When I first found out I was pregnant, he was up to three times a day (his record). Everyday, I'd come home from work (extremely nauseous and fatigued I might add) and find vomit all over our basement floor. Thank God it's pergo and it's cleanable. The vomiting lessened when we switched foods, but this only lasted for a few weeks.

Finally, a few months ago, the vet diagnosed him with his disease. He was placed on his special diet, and the vomiting ceased...for 6-8 weeks at a time. I could totally handle that. I mean, going from a few times a day or a few times a week to once every 6-8 weeks is do-able. I was seriously thrilled, despite the $85 a bag food he was on.
This lasted until three weeks ago. We are sadly back to the vomiting at least once a week. Today, I swept, steam mopped, and mopped our floors. No more than an hour later, Patrick had vomited ALL over the kitchen. I was so upset and I have to admit, angry. I mean, after putting up with this for so long, it does wear on my nerves. I had to re-mop everything.

Micah and I have talked, and we decided a few weeks ago that we would find someone to take him. Someone volunteered, and we backed out. I just can't imagine not having him around. After today, I just think it's best for all of us, including him, if we find him a new home.
With Hannah "walking" either in her walker or holding onto our hands, I just don't want remnants of dog vomit on the floor. I clean it up, and scrub the floors, but I never feel like I can get them clean enough. Not to mention the expense. The dog food, new carpet in our bedroom from the MULTIPLE times he's thrown up in there, and trips to the vet. He's also been shedding WAY more than he ever has, and I can't keep dog hair off of the floors. There are days I sweep three times, and Hannah still ends up covered with it.

I don't know how we are going to part with him. He's been our "baby" since he was 10 weeks old. The Humane Society won't even take him because of his health problems. They told us they would euthanize him for $30. I just can't bear the thought. So, we're back to the drawing board. I e-mailed a friend who may know someone who would take him, despite all of his problems.

It's been a rough day. I know he's "just a dog" and we'll "get over it quickly", but it's still a difficult decision. I'm okay now, but I know when we either drop him off, or his new family comes to pick him up, I'll be a mess. I know he'll be better off with someone else. Maybe there is someone out there with a farm or several acres who will take him. If he could be outside, it wouldn't matter if he threw up. There is, after all, no cure for him. He will continue to get worse, regardless of what we do to help me. Maybe he is in the end stages. Ugh. I just don't want to think of it.
Thank goodness for Hannah and the joy she brings to us! I know she will be there to make us laugh when we say a sad farewell to our "pinkie man".


Hannah in her walker

In her PJ's this morning

After Patrick threw up this morning, my Dad came over to help me with Hannah while I re-cleaned the floors. Thank goodness he was off from work today! When this happens, I usually have to leave Hannah in her crib while I clean up. It's horrible, because she screams and cries, and I get even more worked up. He kept her occupied while I cleaned, then we headed to Target for diapers and baby wash.
I decided to buy the Pampers Cruisers this time in a size 3!! The size 2-3's only came in a little pack, and the 3's were way cheaper. They say for 16-28 pounds. Hannah was 15 lbs 2 oz at her 9 month checkup, so I'm assuming she's right around 16 lbs now. If they're too big right now, I know we'll need them in a few months. I figure it's better to buy too big than too small!

So, I'm back from Target, Hannah is napping, and Patrick is locked in the basement (he threw up all over himself as well and he STINKS and needs a bath...which Micah will be giving him when he gets home in the 32 degree weather). :o(
I guess that's it for my day off. Micah will be home soon, and I haven't even started the pasta or the sauce for dinner tonight. I hate working two days a week. I have so much to do the night before I work, that I don't feel like I get to spend time with Micah and Hannah.
I have to iron my clothes, make sure all of my pump parts are washed and in my pump bag, get my lunch together...okay, it doesn't sound like that much now that I type it, but these things take time!!
This is probably the most random, all-over-the-place blog I've written yet! It's just been one of those days!
Here's hoping for a better night! ;)

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